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Saturday, November 10, 2007

Being Alone in Gloom

I know i should not blog these. Writing these silly stuffs or sharing pain in my blog was a strict no-no. This goes against the very nature of my blog. And people may not like these stuffs also... But i will write. I need at least one place to shout. At least one place to speak my mind.

So go on and read... read even if you don't like it. Read even if your good mood crashes in reading these useless stuffs. Read it for me. If you think me important enough to pay attention, then please read.

Gloomed in a mist of laziness... and getting madder every moment by seeing myself not doing anything; the day was moving towards dusk. There are times when all of your works suddenly seems to be of no value. All you have got in life suddenly seems to be meaningless. You are amidst the darkness of a gloom seemingly everlasting. Nothing is going on right...

People, if they are with you, do feel blessed. But if they are not, you will still manage to live. Isn't it?

We all are alone in this universe. And you need to get your jobs done by yourself only. No one is going to help you. You have to find the way out yourself. And this is not always a bad idea. Knowing that you are alone... knowing that no one will make things any easier for you... gives you a strength to fight. Not fight back but fight your way ahead.

We are all surrounded by different people. But when we shut our eyes we are perfectly alone. I with me and myself... and know it right, this trio can not be neglected.

There are pressures... but these are things you need to handle alone. Your pleasure will be shared by many people... and this is important also. Happiness means nothing if not shared. But you have to pass your hard time all alone. Because everyone else's situation is different. Everyone else's angle is different.

Do you know why i am sad? I am sad because there is no one who understands why i am sad. Maybe even myself do not know the proper reason. But no one seems to accept that i am not as happy as i seem to be. I am not as happy as you think is normal at my situation and circumstances. There is no place from where i can get some solace. Everywhere my reasons to be sad is too small. Their situation is more grave than mine so they should be unhappy; not i.

Or perhaps this is my very nature. I love the gloom of a lazy sadness...

Relishing the sorrow, relishing the pain,
Relishing the bit of poison running in my vein
Finding the path to the unknown-unseen
I want to say good bye to the world i had been.
I'm dipped in the sadness of utmost despair.
Things will be better when i won't be here.
All bright candles have darkness beneath.
Hope that'll be removed when i'll get death.

- Joydip Datta

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